


Quiet

by Lady_Kaie



Series: Igtober 2020 [30]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Love, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Moving In Together, Multi, Other, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Kaie/pseuds/Lady_Kaie
Summary: The heart knows what it wants... but sometimes duty gets in the way.  Ignis doesn't always know how to reconcile the two but thankfully he has friends who love him and want what's best for him.
Relationships: Ignis Scientia/Reader
Series: Igtober 2020 [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948411
Kudos: 7





	Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> Igtober 2020 : Prompt 30: Quiet

Call thee forth blessed Goddess.  
Heed my call for healing and submission.  
Hear me throughout the overwhelming chorus…  
As I plead for your guidance through this mission.

Blessed Goddess Shiva,  
She, whose heart, is forever touched with the heat of love,  
My very soul is opened to receive your precious aria,  
Bestow upon me your grace as I gaze upon the heavens above.

The turmoil of the world is always at its heaviest toward the end of fall, when the world is sliding into decay and rot just as the colder months begin to touch the earth. Chaos ensues with the finishing of a year and the preparation required to accept the touch of winter’s icy caress so much so that beautiful silence is hard to come by.

I can feel it, deep in my bones. That smoldering burn of embers, churning and simmering just before the eruption overtakes me. I’m restless beneath your touch as of late and the others that seem to search for my attention.

False affection clouds my patience and ignites my fury to have all of these people approach me in reverent devotion. I cannot hear past their noise… I cannot hear you! The call of my King is muddled, and those voices of my friends become drown out beneath the din that rattles the world around me. 

My temper has grown painfully short and I’m ready to unleash the raging inferno upon these creatures who think to sway my adoration in their direction. This is an outrage… 

A sin against all I hold dear but somehow I am caught up in the burning flames of this confusing wild fire and am fighting for breath. I’m fighting for clarity past the haze the smoke has left in my mind but there are far too many fears and worries plaguing me.

Why can’t I hear you? Why do those who matter nothing at all to me continue to win my attention when they have never been worthy! None of it is worthy save for the camaraderie that has been built with the three men, now four, that have been steady company for ten years. None of it is worthy save for the forever promise of your love that touches upon me like a soothing balm.

I want only to bask in that quiet world that exists between you and I, but how can I reconcile not taking the path I forged ahead on so many decades ago? Since childhood, my goals have been to see Noctis crowned my King, and my life has been dedicated to the crown. Mighty Bahamut called upon my service and without hesitation, I offered it up to him on my knees.

I offered him everything and all he did was take…

My sight, ten long years of solitude, and even my loyalty has been lost to the Bladekeeper and given to another. To him, the Infernian, he who granted the gift of fire upon this world. He who warmed the heart of the Glacian and felt love blossom within him in response to her own tender feelings. It is in these musings that I can believe in Ifrit’s fury toward mortal men who condemned his gifts. 

How is Bahamut any different? For it was he who took away the light and took away my sight…

He who took you away from me for years of lonely darkness where I was destined to exist in terror filled panic that still haunts my dreams. Much like Ifrit, I feel rage fill my soul, because I feel as though I will forever be caught up in the overwhelming anger that begs me to throw duty to the side and stake my claim to you and the love you offer.

My Shiva. Blessed Goddess, who brought peace to the mind of her beloved Ifrit, tell me, how did you make him hear you? How did you get through the constant roar of his anger?

I have been asking myself this question unendingly since I found you and each time we part to adhere to rules and regulations that shouldn’t govern our lives any longer, I find that my anger continues to rise. Continues to increase when I feel your sorrow in the kiss we share before I go, or that little hint of desperation you try to hide though your grip gives you away when you hold onto my body as if you are trying to pull me deep inside of you so that I can never depart.

Heavens how I want to…

I want to live beneath the pressure of your touches and the cool touch of your kisses that soothe the chapped edges of my sanity. I want to live in the quiet little world you create within me instead of this loud prison filled with shouts and screams that won’t stop.

“Iggy…” My name upon my King’s lips, I barely recognize the worried tone in it as I turn in his direction and sigh. He comes to me and rests his hand onto my shoulder. “Come with me.”

Another task…

Another calling! But how can I refuse my King?

Everyone knows that I cannot, and therefore I do not, and I let him guide me along the hallways that I have memorized over the past several months until we are outside and a cool winter air is wafting over the burning hot skin of my face. 

That’s when I feel it.

Snow.

Perfect little crystalline structures of ice, falling from the heavens. Blessed grace bestowed upon… 

Me.

“Iggy.” Noctis begins with a smile in his voice, I can hear it clearly now that the world is still. “I love you.”

I know. And I love him desperately. He is the only family I have left…

Or is he the only family I allow myself to have? “My King…”

“No Iggy.” HE shakes his head as he pulls me closer to his body and rests our forehead’s together. “Enough is enough. I know you are happy. I know you are in love. You have to stop this.”

“Stop what?”

This time he laughs out loud and holds my face in his rough hands that are cool from the air around us. “Stop living your life for the crown. I don’t want it from you. I want you to stand by me and help me rebuild this country. And I want you happy. Go Iggy. Go live with this woman… go get married one day. Go start a family.” 

“My King…” How did you know Noctis? How did you know that this desire has been boiling up inside of me without reprieve and I have been terrified to reach for it. Would it burn me up and leave me damaged beyond repair? Or would I at long last experience the peace that comes with the love of a good person who would quiet all of the other noises the outside world makes in attempt to keep you in place.

“Go Iggy. Get out of here…” He chuckled, kissing my cheek before turning me toward the path that will take me home.

“Noctis?” Turning, I smile and nod. “Thank you.”

Words do not pass between us but there is a peaceful feeling that fills the air and I know that he is wishing me well through the sensation of his gaze upon me. What I wouldn’t give to see those blue eyes again.

Maybe one day I will…

But for now, I need to get home to you and make sure that you will have me still…

AFter the horrible words that snuck up out of me, words that were never meant for you though they were shouted at you in my frustration to not be able to have what I want because duty gets in my way. All of that noise and nonsense was put upon your shoulders.

IT was abhorrent and Gods, I’m desperate to take it all back.

Before I know it, I’m standing at your door, my breath huffing in and out of my body with such force that you hear it from beyond the front door and pull it open so that the warmth from inside traipses over my damp face that’s cool from the air and snow. Part of me is relieved that I cannot see you because I may lose my nerve…

“My Darling. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean…” Warm lips to cool lips and all of those sounds that have been drowning me for the past few months fade to nothingness.

All there is, is silence and the feel of you in my arms where I need you to be, always. “It’s okay Iggy. Noctis explained everything… are you truly here to stay?”

“You’ll have me?” I gasp out in shocked pleasure which makes you chuckle in a way that calms me even more than before. How can I be so fortunate?!

Perhaps I’ll never know but it doesn’t matter when you grin against my cheek and lean into me for another embrace. “Always Iggy.” You whisper before taking my hand where you guide me inside, out of the cold, and as the door closes shut behind me I swear I hear the blessing of the Goddess…

Ye who seeks my counsel for a weary soul,  
Ensure that your heart is open to receive my benediction.  
There is much upon this star that can take it’s toll,  
And very little that deserves your submission.

Love that hurts as much as it heals will come calling,  
But only once it is quiet within your mind can you hear her song,  
Do you hear how her heart whispers to yours in such longing?  
Telling you that it is at her side where you belong.

The fire that ravages you will be eased.  
The frustration burning you up will fade.  
Your beloved will bestow upon you a reprieve,  
For all the days at her side that are made.

Glorious peace at long last.  
Blissful and perfectly silent.  
Memories will remain in the past,  
As you live in the present where all is quiet.


End file.
